ranking my butlers

ranking the members of onewishvity on how well they would perform as butlers 

1. jaehee

he is my politest and most attentive butler. he pays attention to every details, knows what i like, and goes out of his way to be kind to me even when he doesn’t have to. i have no complaints whatsoever. someone should give him a raise!

2. dongju (honorary butler)

now this is a butler of class and refined taste more fitting to that of a prince. his incessant nagging becomes more tolerable when i invite him to have dinner and watch movies with me. he knows my favourite songs on the violin and does my hair up in intricate hairstyles.

also, having twin butlers is fun... (see #7)

3. woobin

he is my most skilled butler. he’s a little scary but he prepares all of my favourite dishes just the way i like them and takes care of me when i’m sick. he runs this shit like the navy. also carries me when i ask 10/10

4. jungmo

he is my most dedicated butler and caters to my every whim no matter how ridiculous with a constant smile on his face. he tries very hard to make me laugh and i appreciate the effort even though i’m not really interested.

5. sion

he’s a butler who’s exceptional at his job but he is too salacious. he’s like the  rug of a butler kneeling on the floor and holding his hand out so u step on his hand

6. harin

he’s quite the decent butler, mostly acts accordingly and does me favours unasked. but! i can tell he’s pretending he can’t hear me when i give him orders he considers to be frivolous.

7. dongmyeong

his sunny disposition conceals his sadistic streak well enough. he’s good at his job but it’d be in my best interest not to peeve this butler, he always gets me with his pranks.. admittedly, i take twisted pleasure in making the twins vie for my attention.

8. hyeongjun

he is a butler who is fun to rile up and abuse but he abuses me back far worse. i live in constant fear of leaving my feet out of the blanket that he’ll bite them. he’s sickeningly sweet with a dangerously short fuse but good at his job. he might be a psychopath.

9. wonjin

he is a butler who knows my ups and downs. he often makes me laugh when i’m moody. this alone ranks him favourably however he can be equally irritating and it’s impossible to punish him due to his masochism fetish. stop throwing balls at me, i don’t want to play catch

10. allen

he is good at his job  but it embarrasses me when he tries to spoon feed me and make airplane noises and his demeaning babytalk is even more irritating. please. i am miss lady the ojou sama. save your cooing. 

11. giuk

he’s quite dreadful at butler duties but he is truly and wholeheartedly dedicated. he’ll also get me a burger and fries in the middle of the night if i asked. i’m most pleased with him.

12. sakuya

the baby butler……. he cheers me up the most with his cuteness and often puts on funny little performances. arranges my stuffed animals funny when i’ve been gone. 

13. serim

he’s a somewhat useless but kindhearted butler. he is very loyal and rushes to do whatever i ask kind in a somewhat pathetic manner. it’s good that he’s strong so he can carry my palanquin. 

14. yonghoon

he’s okay, but strange. but he forces me to listen to all of his stories and quizzes me on how well i remember them. he also makes me sit on his lap and sticks his hand up my dress to make me act as his ventriloquest’s dummy. i am not impressed.

15. taeyoung

he’s an irritating butler who’s good at everything he does but constantly nags at my life choices. “you need more vitamins,” “you can’t lay in bed all day,” “the 475 swiss cheese fondue isn’t good for your cholesterol.” i said silence!

16. ryo

well he is very sweet and slides cute letters under my door. “i’m sry miss we are out of milk..” with a sad face in crayon. it’s so cute it’s enough to make me overlook the occasional snide comments he makes to my face. 

17. riku

i don’t think i’ve ever seen him do any actual butler work. but he’s necessary to have around…for morale.

18. seongmin

he’s a butler that gives me attitude too frequently, but he likes to brush my hair and often feels like a friend. also, he can bake sweet treats. 

19. kanghyun

due to his clumsiness he causes more harm than good, and despite his restlessness, he’s not fearful enough to spare me from his provocations.

20. yushi

he’s a spacey butler who can’t do anything right. rather than working he hides in the broom closet and weeps. but he’s a little sweet and i think he enjoys playing chess with me, or at least he doesn’t look so miserable doing it.

21. minhee 

lazy, forgetful, and overall horrible impudent butler who derives pleasure from teasing and picking on me. he would rather be a sword wielding knight, but it’s not my fault he isn’t. he lectures me on things he’s incapable of doing himself.